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THIS Its just all so stressful. Im reverting back to the first few weeks after he died. I can't sleep. I wake up 2 and 3 times a night. I don't sleep through the night. Until recently. I dont fall asleep easily and now Im taking sleep medicine to help, which half the time it doesnt help at all. I guess that's kind of a good thing. I don't really know what I am. I dont really live there but i don't wanna sell it. My montly support group meets next Tuesday, which I always look forward too. I don't I think im just anxcious. Its been great the past 2 times I have gone.Have a good'un!When i install vbadvanced my server's mysql load goes %20-%30 when i uninstall it load comes back to %3 is this scripts problem or my Sql 's :S?Its been almost 2 months since I have been on here. My mom is redoing all sorts of things to the house, most recently the yard. I went home for the day, stopped by my house and accidentally found papers about selling my house. I've been doing pretty good. It had been bugging me, so when she told me they were doing the yard, i asked her why and she got all annoyed and said just because I want to! So in the back of my mind I keep thinking about the house