getting letters back from police help|sneaker sengine

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THIS Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do or where to go for resourceslaws so on and so forth to help me get the letters from the police? It just feels so cruel. I just feel numb inside I guess this is normal?How do I get the GPS to enable on my US Cellular HTC Touch?The case is closed and determined a suicide. so we can spend Christmas with his parents and they will not be alone. I just was not ready to go back even though everyone told me I needed to get back to work. We are flying to my Sisters in Colorado for a week just to get out and away for a little while. They are not getting any help for their grief and I feel odd now when we go over to their house. We use to go over to their house every Sunday. The detective said they keep evidence like that even if the case is closed because it might help in other investigations later. I tried to get the letters my husband left for me and his family back from the police, but they say they are going to keep the letters in evidence indefinately because of "policy". I miss my husband, I didn't get our decorations down this year, I just went out and bought a few pink and lime green ornamates, I couldn't listen to the Christmas music on the radio or play it while decorating the tree. While we were decorating the tree my daughter said, " Dad would have said"Take all that hack off the tree" Allen loved Christmas, He would always want colored lights on the tree. What I am frustrated about is that I want (and believe I am entitled to) the originals - if they want to keep copies that is fine. He would get up and go out at 3:00 am on black friday, to get his gifts, he hated to wrap his gifts and would always wait until the last minute to do his wrapping. We concieved our daughter under the Christmas tree in 1989. I am seeing a therapist and she is a great help. I love them and this is our first Christmas without their oldest son.I've am so blah, I just don't want to do anything,except sleep and dream of him. Now my daughter and I go every other Sunday. I have been suffering from PTSD the past two weeks (flash backs of finding him hanging in the garage)these vivid memories had been pushed to the back of my mind and took me by supprise after a tramatic 4th day going back to work. My daughter is their only grandchild and we always went to their house on Christmas eve, then back home and back the next day for dinner. I have a copy of the final police report stating the case is closed. He always gave us, me and our daughter everthing on our list. They made a photocopy of the letters for me. I feel such a huge void, he made Christmas for me an exciting time of year. We will come home on the 21st