never so tired|Nike Air Jordan

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THISa racquetball!! We found one recently at the park, and man does Zero love it. It's squishy, he can chew on it, and it bounces forever.We found it about 4 days ago, and he's barely let it out of his sight since. If you don't already have one, I suggest getting one! If only for the entertainment of watching your wacky boxer play with it! :lol:It says this in the ReadMe file:After you finished the configuration, just start the etdamin_mod:To start:.etadmin_mod.sh start To stop:.etadmin_mod.sh stopTo reload the configuration (without restarting the script):.etadmin_mod.sh reload(Its a simple kill -HUP on the process id)Where exactly do i put .etadmin_mod.sh start?This Thursday just gone was 16 weeks for me. To stop my friends nagging me to the grave I spent the week off work having home improvements done that were a safety issue. Now my house is a shambles, with furniture moved everywhere and I look at it and think it could stay like that forever. I don't care. Two weeks ago I had a whole seven day stretch where I felt almost human, where I could focus and function and get things done. Yesterday and today I have this weighted sadness on me like a blanket. My mind wanders, I think more and more, especially about his death and how it has changed the future we had planned. I go to bed early and get up late and I'm still exhausted. I walk my dogs and people wave to me and I smile back but the smile doesn't go any deeper than skin. Just when I think I can do this another day...I have days like today and yesterday and I just want to sleep. That is the only time my minds stops...and I don't have nightmares or even dream of him much so when I sleep it is my escape. I just want to feel half way normal again, even for a litte while. I hate this dance - one step forward two steps back. I hate this new reality that has been handed to me and the thought of a future without my husband in it just seems like punishment...but for what I don't know.Georgie.