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  • THIS1UP- Best Shooter of E3 Winner- Best PC Game of E3 Runner Up #2- Best Visuals of E3 Runner Up #2- Game of Show Runner Up #5IGN und GameSpy Awards Enemy Territory: QUAKE Wars jeweils zum besten Multiplayer Game der E3 2006.Does anyone know why this happens and how to correct this?. I don't get stupid drunk but drunk enough so I dont have to feel because the pain inside is so overwhelming and hurts so bad.I witnessed him shot himself and there is not a day that goes by that I don't wish that he had taken me with him. I love him so much and just want him to come back for me.I've never wanted something so badly in my life and it breaks my heart not to be able to ever get it. I feel as thought I can't breathe anymore sometimes.it hurts so bad and not just emotionally but also physically. There are somedays that I can't feel him around me anymore and it scares me because there are others that I can feel his presence very strongly. I have never felt such a horrible constant pain like this before in my life. People keep telling me that time will make things better but time just seems to make things worse. It still seems to me like it was yesterday. Oh my god, I miss him so. I have convinced myself that he just had to go away for a while and if I just get outta bed and try to go to work, I can go home when its over and he'll be there waiting for me. It makes it hard for me to go home most days because I don't want to face the truth that he will never be there again waiting for me. I just want to reach out and grab him and wrap his arms around me or just hold his hand. My whole life, if I wanted something badly enough, I'd work my butt off to get it and it kills me inside to know that I can't do that this time because its physically not possible.Tomorrow will be 3 months since my boyfriend Rob took his life. There are some days that I just can't stop crying. I've been on such a drinking bender since this has happened. I have to stop and get a few drinks in me so I just dont feel when I go home.I'm scared his spirit is gonna leave me. I wish that I died with him.I honestly didn't think that it was possible to cry that much. I need to be constantly numb because I can't take it. The more time that goes by, the harder it seems to get and in some sick way, I don't want it to get better. I replay that day constantly in my head. I have to lie to myself every morning just to get outta bed. My heart is broken in a million pieces that can never be repaired
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