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THISOn 2nd November 2008 it will be 2 years exactly since Gary died.I have moved forward and my life is wonderful. I am engaged to a wonderful man, financially secure, work is great (have the job I have always wanted), everything is great.I have even told Gary's family about being engaged to Peter and they are all thrilled for me. I was so scared to tell them as I felt like it is a betrayal of their son. No way, they even sent us a lovely card for our engagement.BUT I feel so very very sad and really anxious. I am very nervous of the anniversary. I feel like I have built it up in my mind to be my one last hurdle to get over. Now I know this isn't true, there will always be days of sadness and regret in regard to Gary. I still love him and I miss him. How could I miss my alcoholic, emotionally abusive, unfaithful husband??? Because I love him, I chose him and we had some lovely times together.I have started having awful dreams. The last one he was hanging in front of me telling me it is my fault he is dead. The dreams are dreadful.....I can't stop wondering if there was anything I could have done, you what if I had tried harder, what if, what if. The answer I come up with is that if he had not died I would still be there and be a very unhappy, unfullfilled , uncontented woman....Have I got no brains at all???I am sorry I rambled on but I am feeling exactly like this post, totally everywhere.I am scared of next Sunday.................There is a quite cool poll about the new Wolfenstein game:next-wolfenstein.deDescription (from wolfenstein-city.de):Many of you have followed our reporting on the E3 and the upcoming sequel of probably the best team shooter ever. We also reported about the Activision press conference with Todd Hollenshead and particularly this conference caused quite a stir and initiated a discussion about the upcoming Wolfenstein multiplayer in our board. Classic or innovative? With or without alien weapons? Iron sight or shooting from the hip? Fast action on small maps or a very tactical, slow approach. Very often the opinions are definite; in some cases they couldn’t be more different. All this was reason enough for us to rack our brains. As the largest German-speaking community Web page with an enduring large number of daily views, our voice has a corresponding chance to be heard. Without hesitation we created a survey, which includes the most important wishes as regards the multiplayer part of Wolfenstein. The survey will run until the end of August, afterwards it will be analysed and transferred to id Software, Activision, Raven and Endrant. As we’ve already seen with Enemy Territory: Quake Wars, the community can offer the developers suggestions, which can be realized effectively and influence the game positively. Your opinion matters and is of crucial importance, so take part and let us, and especially the developers know, which points you would emphasize.More info:wolfenstein-city.4players.de...?p=78346#78346After rereading a few of the old chapters of bleach and watching the new anime episode, a thought popped into my head.The conversation between Urahara and Hiyori on there way to see Mayuri. In that, Urahara states that no one is really allowed to leave the 13 squads. And that they are hunted down and put into the Maggots Nest. Add in the fact that Urahara made it possible for Captain's to travel to Los Noches under orders from Yamamoto, it is possible that he really isn't in exile.That being said, what if Urahara and the Vizards are apart of the Royal Guard? This could possibly explain why Ichigo's dad is wearing a captain's sash, in that he is the captain of the squad. Now, if this is true the Urahara used Ichigo to show the rest of Soul Society that Azien really is a DB when he went to go save Rukia. This theory works if we think in long term planing. Which it has been show that both Urahara and Yamamoto do think in the long term of things. This would also explain on why Urahara, the Vizards, and Isshin are at this town. Since the town is the way for the King's Key to be made. The only fault I see in this theory is that if Soul Society only chases after people in Seireitei. And that they do not travel into the real world. But, I think its hard to believe that if they are willing to lock up people that haven't really broken the law in Seireitei, would they really let something like the real world stop them?