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THISIt's creeping upon the 9 month mark and I'm so lonely. If you can look down & right now see this, please know how much I love you.I read my last thread just before this and made the decision to put my wedding rings back on. In what should still be my newly weded bliss, I'm in utter misery. Can this ever really get better?!? UGH!!!While reviewing configs for some leagues, the ETPro team noticed that most of the configs were ported pretty much straight from RTCW. I feel slammed all over. If you didn't give me that beautiful gift, I don't think I could bear to go on. I felt loved.Click here to read about Harry!As I sit her and write this, I can barley catch my breath, I'm crying so hard. I'm sorry for yelling at what I didn't understand or being quiet when you needed me to say something. I wish I could have comforted you, took your pain away.remove:pb_sv_specname "WTV-speakeasy"there is no wolftv for ET add:pb_sv_cvar r_primitives IN 0 23 could be used as a cheat.remove: r_uifullscreenafaik this no longer works in ET, so checking it is pointless. I'm not ready to let go of anything. I wish someone could take away my pain right now, comfort me. I can't imagine loving anyone else ever. He made me change my negative feelings about myself. I'm getting my friendly monthly woman thing and also coming off of an anti-depressant.remove: r_ext_NV_fog_distthis doesnt work the same in ET anymore. I'm sorry if I didn't do the right things, say the right things. I love & miss my husband more that I can even write. I miss Joe so much. I miss you Joe. note, pb generates bogus (but harmless) violation warnings on this. see r_nv_fogdist_modeadd: pb_sv_cvar r_nv_fogdist_mode INCLUDE NV'this is the correct fog check for ET. I finally wed my best friend, the father of our child, after 8 wonderful years together. It just feels like a bad dream and I want to wake up!! So bad. Tonight, for the first time in a while, I almost picked up the phone & dialed his shut off cell #. I hope I can be a good mom to our beautiful boy. I'm so upset. Everyone is saying coming off Lexapro may be too soon, but I have issues with this med, and the xanex I'm on, knowing those things were factors in my husband's suicide, as well as alcohol and, of course the ultimate factor was the gun he used. I love him. He's the reason I can eventually catch my breath.The problem is that many of the cvars no longer work in ET, or they work differently. Sometimes, like right now, the pain is near unbearable.remove: pb_sv_task 300 600 pb_sv_cvarsrch com_maxfpsremove: pb_sv_task 600 600 pb_sv_bindsrch com_maxfpsthe com_maxfps sniper cheat no longer exists in ET (recoil is fps independent in ET)rain can probably chime in with others. I can't believe this is my life. I felt secure. He was my best friend. I wish you had the strength to stay with us, if for no one or nothing else, for Joey. He's such a wonderful boy, full of life, smiles, fun.I'm sorry for the rant. I thought I had everything figured out                                                 newest arrival woman's sude cow leather heels ankle boots shoes red super A 10621 we have many best quality bag , they are all made by our own factory and they are take picture by ou... michael jordan shoes
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